I decided to get a new cello teacher, one who would grill my technique. My bf knew of an ACS schoolmate who played the Elgar concerto under this teacher, so he encouraged me to study with her. And I did. On the first lesson, she corrected my bow hold and shape of my left hand on the fingerboard. I started with open string bowing (half and full bow) and F major scale, being very mindful of the anatomy of my right upper limb from the fingers to the wrist and the elbow. It should all feel relaxed and "natural". This detailed method of learning was new and enlightening to me, and it brought to light how erroneous my practices were. During the first lesson, we discussed about my goals and how far away from it I actually was. Furthermore, my demonstrations on the cello was frequently interrupted by my teacher's repeated questions - What are you thinking? Oh how exasperating! But that was the pivoting question that echoed in my mind whenever I practise now.
9 April 2013
I was browsing at the Esplanade Library and chanced upon this book.
It talks about how the author (a pianist) went through the cultural revolution being separated from her family and piano. During that period, she became a fervent Red Guard and denounced her piano teacher (Prof P.) whom she later rekindled their relationship after the revolution. Towards the end of the book, she mentioned that her piano teacher's family had settled in Singapore and his son was in the Singapore Symphony Orchestra. Upon reading that, my eyes lit up and I showed the paragraph to my bf who knew who that was at once. Coincidentally, or not, he is the husband of my cello teacher! At the next lesson, I mentioned this to my teacher and she talked a little more about them. I of course had many intriguing questions I wanted to ask regarding the Cultural Revolution, but I had to suppress them lest I infringed on their privacy. Next time, maybe.
June - August 2013
It was my final months as a nurse in NUH. The irony was that the nearer I was to my last day, the more dreadful and difficult every working day became. Those days are behind me now and I shall not mention it further. For these 3 months, I did not attend a single cello lesson.
27 September 2013
Cello lesson was resumed. By now I had already left work for 3 weeks. It was liberating but daunting at the same time. I knew I wanted to do music, but what exactly did I want to do as a career? My logical brain was battling with my heart's desire. My cello teacher, being a person of preceding generation, could not understand this move that I made, why leave a "stable career" to trek on uncharted waters? She was of course not the only one who bombarded me with questions in the same vein, but I thought some were designed more for personal attacks than curiosity/concern. Being in this new phase myself, and still carrying doubts and uncertainty, the temptation to return to nursing (my comfort zone) was admittedly quite strong. However, the dreadful thought of interacting with society/people was a big enough turnoff for me to curb that. I knew I needed a break from it all and indulge in solitude to find myself again. I also knew that I wanted to practise and bring my understanding/playing of music to a deeper level, not as a means to earn a fat salary, but purely for my love of music. I scorned society for being superficial, for valuing people based on the amount they earn, for being frivolous with the money they make, for being delusional about material possession. While I do not hate money, it does not make me happy; and my heart goes out to all who are financially wealthy but living a sad, empty life.
This was also a period of withdrawal from people and social media as I found that I could relate to fewer and fewer people here.
13 December 2013
During this cello lesson, I mentioned to my teacher that I was looking for a piano teacher and she suggested going to her mother in law, who was a proficient teacher who had taught for many many years and was a consultant even for other piano teachers. As I mentioned earlier, I have read about her husband (Prof P.) being persecuted during the Cultural Revolution, so naturally my interest was piqued and I was very eager to meet her and learn from her. What happened next was so unbelievable that it was uncanny. Upon leaving my teacher's house, and wanting to open the main door, it swung open and in came my prospective piano teacher (her MIL)!! At that moment I did not realise it was her as I was eager to leave the place after lesson, but my BF's hair stood the instance he saw her and he nudged me to notice her. It still took me a while to realise this celestial moment, until my bf spoke and explained to her regarding my wanting to learn from her. There and then, we took her number.
21 December 2013, 10am
I had my first piano lesson with my new teacher at her house! We introduced and talked more about the book and Prof P. and the author. I liked her immediately. We spent most of the time correcting my erroneous technique - tight wrist and elbow, which hindered the full sound a piano can/should make. So it is back to basic again, C major! Lesson was planned for 28 December, in complete oblivion to the holidays in between. GOOD! As we were about to leave the piano room, guess what? Prof P. opened the door to talk to my teacher and I took a glimpse of him. Seeing a book character in "real" life was quite overwhelming and I was in a fan mode for a while.
Later that night, I had dinner with some friends and other musicians and Mahler enthusiasts. It was at an obscure part of Singapore so my bf gave a few people a lift home. Lo and behold, it was in the car ride that I found out that one of them was a student of Prof P. who also knew his wife, my piano teacher! What were the chances! Things were really getting more and more uncanny, and it seemed that every thing transpired to bring me to my piano teacher. At this very moment, my hair just stood.
